Ouch

I'm tired of dancing around the subject here, and Azzy is in NY, so I'm going to spill my guts.

My friend and I have been getting steadily closer. He has expressed that he ultimately wants a relationship with me, but is emotionally entangled with another woman right now. Because of this tangle, of course we only go as far as friendship affection. None of us knows what's going on or what we want yadda yadda yadda you know the normal angst stuff and love triangle business.

I kept thinking to myself throughout the summer that this was some infatuation phase, it would be so much simpler if it was.

I fully realize now why they call those people in love "fools." I am a complete and utter fool, because I have summoned patience for these circumstances beyond reason and see myself continuing to do so. This situation, and how I'm allowing myself to be involved, is illogical and will end up hurting me. I know this, but words fail me to explain why I keep going.

I find myself going in circles at how to solve this, but I just get dizzy. I end up resigning to the fact that what ever happens, we want to stay in each others life. I can accept being a fool if this stays so.