*Jabs charcoal into eye*

I'm so.....sick of my Friday illustration class.

All day, for five hours, we stand there staring at nude people and rubbing charcoal onto giant newspaper print. Plus a few homework assignments:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14843630/

I can stand a semester of this, but a second? And I hear we even have another two semesters of this next year. It may not be so bad, for it's taught by a different instructor. I love my current illustration teacher, I really do, I've learned a lot under her instruction. However, it's always the same struggle with her; "relax" she says, "be reckless with your gestures."

You know, I would really love to. It's just...so hard to do this when the instructor is an oober-uptight individual. I have no problem with this, I don't expect her to change. But this whole do as I say not as I do feeling every friday is just corroding how I feel about life drawing. How can I relax and let art flow if the teacher doesn't? Especially if she's such a tense person? It never fails, I can always feel her standing behind me when I'm at the easil, for her aura is a stiff ball of edginess.

I don't even know why I'm complaining. I'm learning a lot of new techniques, but only cause I dread it when my instructor comes over and plays back the same recorded lecture to me that she gives at the beginning, middle and end of class. Really, all she needs to do is record her speech and just play it back to us a few times a day. No one ever said that all students should get along great with their instructors...but is it a bad thing to learn this stuff just so I can avoid talking to the teacher?

I suppose the bottom line is that I'm learning stuff, but it's out of unease.