All I want is to go to school

Yes, I'm alive. I've been through a few loops, washed up on the shore but happier all the same.

I know all who read this are my friends and family, but if you have a queazy stomach at the thought of my sex life or people being complete idiots, stop reading now.



I must begin several months ago, when I was asked about sex from my sheltered Mormon roommate. Doing the only thing that I've been treated and raised with, I was honest and completely open with her. Apparently, in her family, sex doesn't exist or something for they refuse to utter anything about it. whatever.
At the time, I was glad to tell her that she wasn't a horrible person for feeling the way she felt.

A few weeks later, I noticed a very personal item missing from my room. I guiltily inquired it to her, for I felt foolish thinking she would even violate my space in the first place. She then turns around and starts bawling, saying how sorry she was and that she wanted to ask for it but didn't know how and how bad she felt for taking it blah blah blah.

When we sat down and talked about it, I made it very clear that she is not allowed in my room unless she had my explicit permission. That if she did it again, that I could not live here. And yes, she agreed and I forgave her and she replaced the said item.


Lets look at this roommate a bit...

Barely on her own, brand new job and apartment, first roommate experience, and in the spring apparently her boyfriend from England is to move in and they will be getting married. They met online and have never met in person. Lovely. I'm willing to work with that. Sure. As long as you pay your bills, clean up after yourself, and at the end of the Lease I'm fricken out of here.

I was very prepared to live here for the rest of the lease, though a bit uncomfortably with a pinch of paranoia. I mean, you rough it in College, right?

Then, she did it again. Really, I don't know what went through her head, and I still don't. Came babbling to me afterwards too, when I hadn't even noticed it was gone, and said all the things she had said before. She did this JUST as I was leaving the night before my train ride home for the holidays, so I couldn't even sit down and talk to her about it.
Dammit. She always did this. Was so clingy whenever I was home, then told me all the important stuff she was afraid to say at the very last possible minute. Yes yes, I understand she's never talked about that stuff before, but am I really being a hard-ass in saying "Get over it and talk to me" ?

So, came home and talked with just my mom about it. Not something I really wanted to bring out into the open during Christmas, when all the family is gathered and such.

My parents and I agreed to get myself out of there. I couldn't drill it into my roommates head to stay out of my room, and to put a lock on my bedroom door is not a healthy living situation.

This will be tricky, because the situation is, her mother is the cosigner of the apartment. I always thought her mom was a little weird, but only until these past few weeks, did I realize that like her daughter, she needed some serious therapy.

When I returned, I told the roommate that I could not live here anymore, and that I would be glad to help her move into a studio here in the same apartment complex. That there are hundreds of therapists that she could (and should) go to in the great city of Seattle. Looking at me with her blank stare, she replied that she would go to a therapist only if I paid for it, because, you see, she (and her mom) do not believe in therapists. "They're a bunch of cookoos" was the term they used. wonderful.

Later...her mom calls. The first thing to come out of her mouth is "why have you decided this" and "I've called my attorney" which is all loveliness all over the place.

I needed her moms signature to get off the lease, which of course she would not agree to. Why? Because this poor woman bathes in denial, and has convinced herself that her daughter didn't steal, oh no, she was borrowing the said item. When I asked her if she had talked to her daughter about the situation, she said no. I finally told her every detail, and for the first time, she shut up. It was wonderful. But of course it didn't last long.

Turns out that they HAVE spoken about it and didn't say this to me, or should I say, my roommate has admitted to her family of what she has done. Well that's just dandy. Glad she could take a stand and admit a mistake, but this still leaves me living with a psycho.

Next day, the mom tries to tell me that it was my fault for telling her about these things in the first place, because she had never seen these things before. And that her intent was to borrow it. At this point, I told her this was unhealthy, unsanitary and bullshit and we flat out argued and let off steam for awhile.

The only thing I could say is that I could have her daughter arrested for thievery. No, this wouldn't solve much or technically get me off the lease, but it was all I had to fight with and try to get out since she still didn't see it as stealing. All she could say at the end of all our phone conversations were, "We don't have the time and money to move her for we have jobs and school and responsibilities, and I have to hear back from my attorney."

Gee...School? A job? Apparently I don't have either of these and I don't understand what the hell they are. *clenches jaw*

I keep having to step back and check my sanity, for the crap that kept coming out of the mouths of these people was so warped, I have to verify not just with my family and friends, but with people with a completely objective point of view. a.k.a...strangers off the street.

Me:"Um..excuse me....yeah you...hey, if this happened to you, what would you do?"

Stranger: WTF?? Why are you still living there?? Don't go back there!

Me: Thanks man


Anyways...

I then got food poisoning, which is just what I needed. After a few days of my stomach and brain rotting from listening to these women, and all of us loosing sleep and getting ulcers, we had to fork over a three digit amount for me to be off the lease and free from their Mormon insanity. No, this isn't right, but apparently the going rate for peace of mind is eight hundred bucks. But as my old apartment manager says, "Yes this is wrong, but you can salvage this as a learning experience."

Really, what else am I supposed to do?

Throughout this time, I have sung Think about your troubles in the shower and listened to my dads wonderful and awful jokes. Like when I mentioned that I couldn't find my screwdriver to take down my shelves and stuff, he said, "Well if your roommate got ahold of it, you know what happened to it!"

LOL thanks dad, it's all worth it now :D.

Above it all, through this experience I can only look around in gratitude at the number of people who love and care for me. My parents and my dear Michelle helped me so much, I'm at a loss of words. With a days notice, my parents drove four hours here to help me move all my stuff to a lovely one bedroom just a couple blocks away from school.

We were able to do it in one weekend, even with my sad ex-roomy following my mom around wanting some sort of validation or forgiveness. Bless my mom, after a bit I hear she finally turned around and said to her what I could not:

"Leave me alone."

Up until this point, my roommate was acting like her creepy little self, being cheerful and pretending nothing was going on. Her outer denial seemed to melt away after my mom put her foot down, for the next time I spoke with the my ex-roomy she was the messed up icy individual that she truly was. AND on top of all of this the mom gives me this....letter? I don't know what it is...it certainly is not an apology or explaination. With the exception of omiting names, the following is the letter from her mom verbatum.

"I have not been able to sleep since this whole incidence. I truly feel awful for all parties involved. Cori, my daughter did not think she was stealing when she borrowed your item. She is giving you a check for the said itemie. It reminds me of a story in my life. I lived with a family that took me in as I really had no family at the time. Barbara the wife spent all day making special family cookies for a christmas for a christmas party and put them in the freezer for the party down the road. Well in love with these cookies I would get up in the middle of the night and eat them and before the party came along all of her cookies were gone and other treats she had made. The hurt she had in her eyes has never left my memory. I did not view it as stealing and I dont know what Barbara ever viewed it as but the trust was broken and I had to reearn her trust. She did not kick me out. I believe my daughter feels awful that the trust was broken. But she also feels awful that you threatened to put her in jail. She begged me to put a stop in all of this. I felt both parties are responsible and things could have been worked out so I tried to do what was fair. But saying mean things to you was not fair. You can never take back words. So I have rambled long enough and I don't even know if I ever made a point or not. But good luck to you. Even tho I had misgivings at the beginning I did come to like you a lot and still do."


*sighs*

I guess I just trust people too easily...is this the lesson? I ended up paying for it with a chunk of money, my winter break, and a bit of my mind. What's left of it, is indeed peaceful.

My new place has a beautiful courtyard, is cat friendly, and is composed of a small community of peaceful bohemians. With all the tatoo, piercing and smoking habits attached. Ah, nice to be home. I've been here for two days, and four people have already introduced themselves and their cats to me and have warmly welcomed me here. I'm still a little shocked from my previous apartment extravaganza, and I almost found myself saying to them:

"I....I'm sorry but I just got out of a rough roommate relationship...please don't take this as a rejection...don't worry, it's not you, it's me." lol

I just hope the waters settle now, and I can get back to school and be at least content. And put my dam stuffed animal dragons anywhere I please! Yeah!


"Wisdom is found on the desolate hillside, El-ahrairah, where none come to feed, and the stony bank where the rabbit scratches a hole in vain."

-Watership Down